wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
