entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
