That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
