you're like a bully in the Christmas story
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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