i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
