you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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