Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
