I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
