Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
