I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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