I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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