Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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