so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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