No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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