There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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