are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
youre lurking in front of me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
vagina is talking i cant
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
