I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
