Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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