how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
