# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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