This girl is more easily done than said...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
