it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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