You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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