Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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