we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
