i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
