This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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