apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it's like heaven, but drunker
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
