Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
