don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
