Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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