I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
