Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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