Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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