yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
