its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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