So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
