i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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