I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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