I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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