Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
