im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
