so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
