So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This is the prime rib incident all over again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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