sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
