I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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