If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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