Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
