Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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