Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
