Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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