Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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