Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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