Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
