I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
