you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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