just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
