it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
