C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
