: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
