white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize