And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Enjoy the penises
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
