the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
