I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
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i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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