remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
