Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this beer tastes like vomit already
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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