Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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